Time

My life is a ticking time bomb that I’ve both tried to diffuse and set off a hundred times,Never knowing where to turn; never making up my mind.And when I ask you, “What does it take to truly be alive?”You look at me with deep sorrow in your eyes.Because you don’t know either–And you know

The Darkness Swarms Around Me

When you lay awake at night what do you think of?Is it suicide, demons, blood, or your fear of love?Do you lay awake thinking about everything you’ve done wrong?Do you wish with all your might that you might be able to be someone? Those are the thoughts that haunt me every night,When the darkness swarms

You’re Better Off Without Me

My mind is a dark and unforgiving placeAnd maybe I should keep my distance; you need your space.And maybe it was meant to end up this wayFeeling alone without anyone willing to stay,And you say im fucked up; you say im insane?Because of the suicidal ideations that haunt my brain? I need to get better;

I Miss You All the Time

How long had it been since you slept?Had there been a night for a while you hadn’t wept,About all the secrets you kept in your head?The way you talked about your own death,The way said you’re were going down never-ending steps,The way you said your lungs hurt with every breath,You told me the ground is

Journal Listing #3: It’s Not That Easy, Even if I Want it to Be

Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to. Sometimes even though you hope so hard and wish like it’s life or death, things just don’t make sense. As much as you tell yourself, “It will all work out, everything happens for a reason.” It all just seems like a confused mess of

Memories Haunt

I think about half-forgotten memories as I fall asleep,When I wake up I think about my scary half-forgotten dreams,All day long my memories haunt me,Things I could have changed; done differently,And the anxiety I feel when my brain can’t even think,Clouded and foggy with the broken memories– What is real? What is fake?Don’t you realize

Journal Listing 2: Trying to Live for a Better Tomorrow

That’s the shitty part. What’s done is done. You can’t change your past. Life keeps going. The clock keeps ticking. Even if we can somehow manage to go back to the way things used to be. The damage is done. The scar is still there. The thing that happened, well, it happened. And you may

The Snakes in My Head

My brain is a messed up, scary placeSomewhere dark, lonely, filled with snakes–They wrap around my head and constrict itTheir strength makes my thoughts restricted–They whisper to me things only I can hear.Certain things that make me cower with fear–And they slither out of my ears and down my back.Wrap around my legs until my

Don’t Worry About Me

Don’t you dare go worrying about me!The nightmares I have,The things that haunt me in my sleep– The curses I carry,The burdens I wear,You want to care–But on the contrary! You should see,The evil in me–The devil rooting himself,In my very being!But you can’t see, The darkness in my heart,The creatures crawling within,Making their way

I’ll Do Well

You cannot convince me that I am good,Because the message can never be understood,I’m a monster, a demon, I might be the devil–So bury me in the dirt with your metal shovel!I always wanted to be buried six feet deep,Because I need to get back to my home underneath.This world, well, it haunts me.Because I